A Newbie’s First Holy Shit Moment – 1st Place

1st Place
A Newbie’s First Holy Shit Moment
Prize: One PLEX
Author: Kurt Gambit

What a ride! A great example of day one content that can be found in EVE if you’re lucky enough to find it. No matter how new, or small, or inexperienced there’s always a role in a fleet, particularly when we need max DPS to pew pew something big! Excellent writeup! Notes in Blue are our own.

7o Brave! For those who don’t know me I’m Kurt Gambit, newbie as of just over a month ago.

When I first discovered EVE, I had trouble finding the drive to get into the game. As much as I was amazed by the how awesome the game looked, the insane politics, and the mind-boggling amounts of real-world dollar worth lost in certain battles, I wasn’t willing to climb the learning curve and put in the time commitment I heard so much about. I tried a few times to start in the past several years, but either my computer at the time couldn’t handle it, or I was too confused by the controls and game mechanics. I preferred to just read about it on /r/Eve (or /r/gaming whenever a big battle had been fought). Eventually I came around to try again, more driven this time to figure this game out. I made my character, taking way too much time deciding what race to be (Gallete ftw), customizing my character as if Eve were a Bethesda game (randomize button spam), and then snapping a picture for pilots to fear (they don’t).

I started off slow. Playing solo, mining and mission running until I bought myself a shiny new Vexor! I loved that thing, I could run Security II’s while watching netflix. I got greedy. There was a security III agent available to me in a nullsec station. I warp to station with most of what I owned in cargo to find myself in a bubble. Pop. From that point on, I understood why Eve players say there IS a way to say “BUBBLES” angrily. I was frustrated, all that hard work and time, just, pop. Poof. Gone. I convinced myself that I didn’t even enjoy the mission running nor the mining, I just liked seeing that number in my wallet go up.

I was going to quit, but I thought: “well I should give corps a shot at least.” But who should I join? Being a chronic redditor, I thought maybe Dreddit? Apparently they’re recruiting? No, as amusing I find their propaganda, I don’t think that’s the place for me. I should go somewhere that being a newbie is more accepted, and less of a burden. Eve Uni? Aside from their guides I’ve heard nothing about them, so no. Pandemic Ho- no.


What about Brave? I’ve heard a lot about them, everyone seems to like that they exist which is big for EVE, and they’re awesome to newbies (I later learned that they’re awesome people as well, you guys are the best). Yeah I think that’s the place for me. Let’s see where’s I1Y…ohgod that’s far… After selling most of what I owned, and packing everything else up into Kurt Gambit’s Vexor 2.0, I set off for I1Y. Made it to station safely and docked up.

Fast forward couple of weeks and I’ve learned a lot. Discovered ratting (wasn’t very good at it, but I was damn good at salvaging), and bought a shiny new tackle Atron! Went on my first Atron roam and had a blast. For the first time in EVE I’m starting to enjoy myself for real. Then, on 2016/07/20 I decided to go on an “Atron blob” roam. It was my first successful roam, killed some stuff, had some gf’s, and started the trip back home in one piece (mostly). “Thanks FC” in mumble, and everyone started switching back into the I1Y comms. “Everyone get to 9CG. Bring whatever you can. Now.”

Comms were blowing up. Something something Broski, something something The_Culture, something something supercarrier. What the Hel is going on… I jump into my shiny Vexor (my intimidating dps ship that I now learned you can insure) and start jumping. As I get closer I start hearing primary callouts, and which ships we can kill. The first thing I notice when I get into system is that there are several neutral, abandoned medium II drones on the gate. I make a mental note because those were worth a LOT to me. “Safe to warp to NAME” is heard over comms so I warp to 0.

HOLY SHIT. WHAT IS EVEN GOING ON. I’ve pictures seen huge battles posted on reddit, but it’s one thing to see a picture of it, and it’s another to be right in the middle of it, flying your own ship. Ships everywhere. Giant ships, small ships, medium ships, drones, bubbles, missles, lasers, explosions, purple dots, green dots, red dots, grey dots, grey dots with little red dots on them. I was overwhelmed. I locked onto my closest hostile and sent in my mighty tech I drones. It was an Augoror Navy Issue. As my drones and 250mm prototype gauss guns were hammering (I use the word very lightly) the enemy ship, an ally warped in to me and started decimating the guy. The ship was dead in seconds. As I flew around shooting at enemies, looting wrecks, and just having an all around great time, I hear people freak out in comms telling everyone to warp out. I figure they know what they’re talking about so I set my ship to warp to gate. Just then I see a lot of BIG ships pop onto grid. Then I see a lot of orange boxes. I could’ve sworn I had shields a second ago. Holy shit warp. PLEASE WARP. DOWN TO HULL FOR THE LOVE OF GOD WARP. WARPWARP50%WARPWARP20%WARPWARP17%warps.

Holy shit what did I just live through. That. Was. Awesome. As I drop into the gate I see no one bothered to pick up the tech II drones. Being the greedy bastard I am I quickly scooped them all up before making the trip back home. I think it was at that moment I knew I’m going to be playing this game for a long time, for moments like that. That mixture of fear and excitement that I’ve never gotten in any other game. Even though as a brand newbie, I think it’s safe to say I’m hooked.

Anyways that’s my story, link to the aftermath thread of that battle: https://www.reddit.com/r/Eve/comments/4tppfj/9cg6h_bloodbath/ and incase that thread ever disappeares, here’s the direct link to the battle report http://evf-eve.com/services/brcat/?s=3979&b=7126800&e=100&t=lvb. I guess I wasn’t significant enough to make it onto that list, which doesn’t surprise me.


Thanks for reading, and sorry for the wall of text! I hope to see you all out there in New Eden!


PS. Le Petie More’s fleets are super fun. Like totally fun, you definitely should believe me.