From the Pen of The Alliance Exec

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I was invited a long time ago…actually invited is a kind word: I was begged, cajoled, threatened and demanded to write a blog post for this illustrious news outlet, and I’ve never had a topic that should be shared here without being included in a SOTA.

That’s the issue with being the leader of the best damn Alliance in the game – it’s hard to share your thoughts without being quoted by someone later on who uses your jokes, innuendo or fantasies as some way to scam extra SRP out of you.

So now I’m going to talk here about my recent battle experience.

Let me begin by saying that I am still pretty new as far as things go. There’s lots of things that I’ve never managed to try in fleets, and my hangars are littered with ships that I’m drooling at the bit to try out.

I once asked my friend Ernest Hemingway what the best thing to do in a fleet was (he was a wonderful bomber pilot, and we used to go bombing together in the days when girls were clean and martinis were dirty).

He told me: “To die.

In the rain…”

I’ve always considered that as a pretty good ethos to have, particularly since Brave does a lot of it. I tend to learn a lot through dying, and flying Logi (as I used to exclusively do) is often a one way trip.

Imagine my shock 25 hours ago when I discovered that not only would I be available for a fleet, but that I was going to get a chance to fly a Force Auxilliary.

It’s long been a dream of mine to fly the biggest baddest Logistics ship in the game, and one that I thought I was going to have to yolo drop it to get a chance. If you don’t know, a Force Auxiliary is a capital ship that tanks like a biatch and activates a special mode that gives it extreme repairing ability. They’re a fearsome asset to a fleet with big ships in it when flown competently.

That’s the key though…COMPETENTLY.

That’s a good thing about Brave, nobody cares if you die, and I hope that stays that way. Well, I care if I die, but if I can die while I’m helping out a mate then even better.

So there I was, minutes before undock, when our amazing cap FC tells me to load my Minokawa up with cap boosters. This is why paying attention to Alliance services like slack and the forums is important: the capital doctrines had changed, I hadn’t refit my caps, and you can’t put cap boosters in a battery.

And then rigs were wrong. And then the reppers wouldn’t fit. And then this other thing doesn’t…go…there, SHIT WE’RE UNDOCKING, GOD DAMN IT!! HELP!!

I undocked eventually, with sort of the right fit. Generally when there is a whole fleet depending on your capital reps, shooting an incredibly annoying target that we need to die is not a good time to sort-of-anything!!!

Nonetheless, it didn’t matter since our battleships were being Alpahed by the fearsome firepower of the machariel menace! Still, somehow my sort-of-FAX not only managed to rep a bit, it also survived.

Our great capital pilots in the fleet kept my dirty secret though, that the Alliance executor and loudest mouth in the room had a weird not-really-doctrine ship.

The fight itself was intense: getting tackled by an astrahaus, bubbled, neuted out by a PL apostle (my god those bastards can have specifically neuting FAXes without even blinking wow so jelly…) never once primaried but secure in the knowledge that my sort-of-tank would have been sort-of-annhilated if anything had sort-of-looked at me sort-of-crookedly.

We won the fight, and my friend Malcolm Turnbull (the Australian Prime minister) told me that I was a proud representative of Australian Innovation. Just goes to show how much that cretin knows, am I right?

I was sad that I couldn’t come to the fight 24 hours later, and then miracle of miracles, my work day turned into a NON work day. Thank you doctor and bone hardening medications! WHEE.

Yes, Sir, Mr CAP FC SIR! I’m available, AND I’ve refit correctly. I can even turn on my reppers, this time!

It’s really important in Eve that you learn from your mistakes, so I’d checked the fit well before the fight, double checked that it was insured, updated my clone (well, checked that my home station was ge-8, anyway).

Everything was perfect. Or so I thought.

When we warped in my adrenaline levels were through the roof, i had the PVP shakes, I could barely speak since my balls had apparently migrated from the wife’s handbag and into my mouth, and real time seemed to dilate along with my anus, which was clenching and unclenching alarmingly.

FC said triage green, triage green and I hit the button. Nothing happened and my eyes flicked up to see if tidi had already kicked in…nope. Hit the button again, frantically this time. Then a bubble popped behind my ship and my eyes dragged to a stop on the warning message that blared like a brand into my eyes: You need this fuel called strontium to make the ship rep hard.

Lets just say that trying to get people to read the motd in fleet than it is to get stront delivered to a FAX in the middle of a fight when there’s 34985763490857 baddies on the grid and you have to slowboat through the bubbles.

I tried, resulting in this hilarious mail: In the meantime I repped as best I could, keeping a few nerds alive but smashing my face into the desk with frustration and self-loathing. It’s also good in Eve to learn how to forgive yourself, because mistakes are often like this: fatal or potentially fatal.

Then, success! Someone gets to my ship and dumps a load of stront into my hangar, arriving while he was in structure and dying fast.

The rest of the fight for me at least, went smoothly, repping a bunch of ships and fighting the tidi that slowed everything down to a snails pace.

The poor, long suffering FAX died eventually when the PL dread fleet landed, but not before I whored on a Blue cap with a smartbomb. I have a feeling that neither of my FAX companions repped me, and I consider this just punishment for having been such a bad.

In a few days there will be another fight, and I’ll try again, throwing another ship into the fray, looking to better my record and actually be effective from the word go. I hope that everyone who comes along can do better than I have.

Learning from your mistakes is seriously important. Being willing to share your mistakes and letting your mates both ridicule and assist you to get better is really important. So I’ll try hard to do better.

I want you bastards to do better than me too: but also to keep pushing yourself to do better, and don’t spare the horses. Keep operating beyond your skill envelope – you’ll never know what you’re capable of until you try.

Thanks for being with me on this outrageously amazing journey, and together we’ll always have stront in our reppers!


Cagali Cagali
CEO of Brave Newbies Inc.
Alliance Executive of The Brave Collective